Get Out of Your Head and Back Into the Moment.

The Vicious Cycle of Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety works in a devastating loop:

1. It begins with a negative thought or worry: "What if I can't get an erection?" or "What if I finish too quickly?" This can lead to both weak erections and quick ejaculation.
2. This thought triggers the body's "fight or flight" response, releasing adrenaline and noradrenaline.
3. These stress hormones are the direct enemies of arousal. They constrict blood vessels, making it physically harder to get and maintain an erection, and they heighten sensitivity, making ejaculation happen faster.
4. When the feared outcome happens, it reinforces the original negative belief, making the anxiety even stronger for the next encounter. You start to watch yourself, judging your performance instead of being in the moment.

Signs You Might Be Experiencing Performance Anxiety

• You can get a strong erection when alone (e.g., morning erections, during masturbation) but struggle with a partner.
• You find yourself "spectatoring"—mentally observing and judging your own sexual response during sex.
• You feel a sense of dread or panic before or during intimacy.
• You avoid sexual situations to avoid potential failure or embarrassment.

Our Therapeutic Approach: Breaking the Cycle

Our counseling for performance anxiety is practical and solution-focused. We use evidence-based techniques to tackle the problem from multiple angles:

• Cognitive Restructuring: We help you identify and challenge the negative thought patterns that trigger anxiety. You learn to replace catastrophizing thoughts with more realistic and positive ones.
• Mindfulness & Sensory Focus: The opposite of "spectatoring" is being present. We teach you mindfulness techniques (sensate focus) to shift your attention away from anxious thoughts and onto the physical sensations of the moment, which naturally enhances arousal.
• Anxiety Reduction Techniques: We provide you with practical tools, like controlled breathing exercises, that you can use in the moment to calm your nervous system and prevent the adrenaline surge.
• Gradual Exposure & Confidence Building: We work with you to create a step-by-step plan to re-engage with intimacy in a low-pressure way, building a series of small successes that rebuild your confidence.